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"What's In the Box???" (actually, where is it?)

Updated: Dec 20, 2018

It’s a crazy, crazy world. Things happen. Well, that’s not the term most people use, including myself, but my parents are reading this, so... 🤷🏽‍♀️

Normally I’m the type that does not sign up for anything. If I have to sign up for it, I’m probably not going to do it. Why? Because down the road, I’ll change my mind and then I’m stuck in some kind of contract or obligation. Due to my own personal life experiences, being stuck in any situation is not a good thing. It makes me want out. Now. Yesterday. You get the picture- it’s a control thing. I think in the beginning this was because of traumatic experiences in my life, but now, as I get older and have learned to love life and forgive, I’m not too proud to admit that it’s become just habit to opt out of being a signer-upper. PTA? I mull it over every year, then realize I’ll probably skip meetings, dread the fund raisers, and ultimately end up embarrassing my daughter. She put the kibosh on the one time I mentioned it, thank God. Massage memberships? It’s no fun if I have to go during an allotted time rather than spur of the moment spoil me adventures. Accountability groups? Having to do something makes me not want to do it. I’m sure there’s a word for this kind of mentality and it’s probably in the same neighborhood as self-centeredness.

My friend gets these FabFitFun boxes. We laugh when she gets them once every couple of months. We make fun of the ladies on YouTube going all nuts over these boxes like they’re the next best thing to winning nanny service for a year or free wine until 2020. We’ve even thought of filming our own version of the highly anticipated FabFitFun arrival, if nothing else, just to point out the ridiculousness of these perfect, beautiful, fit, fun and fabulous ladies. The ironic thing about this, is that we actually look forward to the appearance of these boxes of wonder and tear into it without the poised restraint of Shelby in Atlanta, Georgia. This is either because we are disheveled from the day or else we are wine fueled and at that point, EVERYTHING is fun, fit and fabulous!

She’s been trying to get me to sign up for this awesome box for a while now, and it was only because she had a few freebie starter boxes that I finally caved. I would like to point out that I DO admire the surprises that come in this package every so often, and I’ve been the happy recipient of some of the things that are sent as well. I clicked on my email and signed up, filled out my profile and told FFF the things I like and enjoy, and made sure to tell them not to send me anything to get me more fit than I already am. That would simply make other women jealous, and I’m not trying to body shame anyone. Actually, that’s not true. I don’t look forward to exercise stuff. I look forward to makeup, skin care, fun gadgets, handbags, household things. I finished setting up my profile, set up my address, and my payment method.

It wasn’t too long after that that I got my first welcome email and the promise that my starter box got shipped out! Ta-da! It was scheduled to arrive at the end of day Wednesday, December 19th. You know where I’m going with this. I have been busy with planning Christmas at my house, so Wednesday flew by. I realized it was 7pm around 8pm. I checked my email and there it was – the dreaded email from FedEx. My FabFitFun was “rerouted to the advised address.” Whatever that means. I chatted with a FedEx person about this, and he assured me it was scanned as delivered. To the revised address. What??? After double checking the address with them, FedEx said I needed to call the USPS. So, I called the USPS phone number, since FedEx had them deliver it. Of course, it’s after 8pm and no one is answering. I called the office of our apartment complex and it’s not there. I checked the entrance of the building. Not there. I had no notice that it was deposited in the lockers where most packages are put.

For a moment, I may have done this.

Now I understand that this is the time of year when delivery services like UPS, FedEx, and the USPS are slammed with tidings of good joy. I know that in December, this is the way the cookie can sometimes crumble. It doesn’t change the fact that I felt frustrated, flustered and fatigued by having to be Sherlock Holmes of the packaging world. I have lots to do, just like everyone else. Because every Sherlock needs his John Watson, I called the USPS. It took some doing to figure out how to get in the queue for the “next available representative.” However, here I sit. I can actually write this blog because guess what? I have a full hour to do it! Yes, that’s the hold time. (please phone connection, don’t fail me now)

When I’m in a position of being at the mercy of someone else, it’s really all I can do to not lose it. Depending on people isn’t my strong point. The upside to this, is the hold music isn’t horrible. It’s bearable. I’m praying that I’ll be less blunt than I usually am, and my diplomatic nature will kick in and I’ll speak as I would wish to be spoken to. It’s not the representative’s fault, maybe it’s no one’s fault, and it’s just “one of those things.”

I have time to reflect on my to-do lists. I have time to think about the things that I will be doing tonight to get things in order. I have time to think about this being my first Christmas. I glance over at my tree and admire the way it sits in the living room window, and I know when people pull up to the building, they see it sparkling in my window. Christmas. ‘Tis the season. Right? ‘Tis the season for family, for get-togethers, and, if you’re celebrating Jesus’ birth like I am, that is ultimate reason for the season. Ok. Now that I thought about THAT, I feel my heartrate start to slow and my shoulders start to relax. All this tension over a box that is supposed to be FabFit&Fun. A box I should be thankful for being able to splurge on for an occasional surprise. A box that every change of season can simply not compare to the gifts I have access to- Every. Single. Day. What am I getting so crazy about? Am I the new YouTube FabFitFun Frieda who’s Freaking out over her box not being delivered?????

Today I have the luxury of having my daughter walk through the door after school. She’ll talk to me about her day and fill me in on all of the good stuff and the not so good stuff. I’ll start preparing dinner with the tons of food in the fridge and the cupboard, all in a warm home filled with love and coziness. Around the same time, the love of my life will walk through the door, kiss me and surprise me with a bottle of my favorite red, or maybe just give me a smile and wink to let me know he loves me. The dogs will clamor, excited about their humans being in their right places again, and I’ll smile at their antics. I’m lucky to have a family, and I’m so lucky my up-north family is going to be arriving in a few days. Some people have no one this time of year or any time of year to get together with. Mine are only a few hours away.

As I sit on hold, going on 59 min, I realize that my FabFitFun is already here. My family is fabulous. We fit together perfectly. As a result, we have a lot of fun. Corny? Yes, I suppose it is. I’m a nerd. Guess what? I love being that way. Maybe I’m guilty of being caught up in the season of “getting” things, and I need to remember the daily gifts I already am given. Maybe I just need to say, “thank you” instead of “Where’s my box?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!”

Don’t get me wrong- I’ll get my box, and it will be great. For now, though, I’m going to just try and remember to settle down. My friends, maybe it’s time we just relax, and breathe, and take a minute to put things in perspective. Not everything goes according to plan, and that’s ok.

Friends, have a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Holiday, or whatever you celebrate in your corner of the world.

In the meantime, I’m going to stay on this phone call, and if it disconnects when they answer, I’m going to laugh. Hysterically maybe, but still, laughter. Because laughter is fitting in this situation. Laughter is fun. Laughter is Fabulous.

Finally! My Fab Fit Fun Starter Box!


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